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PM-icon-101 This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Look Who's Purging Now." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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This article is a transcript of the Season 2 Rick and Morty episode Look Who's Purging Now. The episode aired on September 27, 2015.

Transcript

  • I got to tell you, Rick. It’s pretty great to be in this spaceship, just the two of us, you know?
  • Just cruising around, Rick and Morty style.
  • I agree, Morty. [ Belches ]
  • It’s nice to get back to the basics after a pretty intense, mixed-bag of a year.
  • Ohh!
  • Relax.
  • That’s what windshields are for.
  • I didn’t know that there were bugs out in space.
  • Well, w-what did you think, Morty?
  • Life just developed on earth by itself?
  • Here, let me take care of this.
  • Geez, Rick, that’s disgusting.
  • I don’t want to look at that.
  • Yeah, guess I’m out of fluid.
  • L-let me find a place to stop.
  • Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet, or are you gonna freak out and start worshipping us?
  • The general store ought to have what you need. Thanks.
  • Of course, you’ll be wanting to be gone from here by sundown.
  • Yeah, sure thing. Wait a minute. What? Why?
  • Sundown is when the festival begins.
  • The festival?
  • Ooh, well, for millennia, our society has been free of crime and war, living in perfect peace.
  • Oh, I know what this is!
  • You’ve been able to sustain world peace because you have one night a year where you all run around robbing and murdering each other without consequence.
  • That’s right.
  • What?!
  • It’s like "the purge," Morty. That movie "the purge"?
  • Oh, have you been here before?
  • No, no, but I’ve been to a few planets with the same gimmick.
  • You know, sometimes it’s called the cleansing or the red time.
  • There was this one world that called it just murder night.
  • I-it’s a purge planet.
  • They’re peaceful, and then, you know, they just purge.
  • T-that’s horrible!
  • Yeah.
  • You want to check it out?
  • [ Electricity crackling ]
  • So, what do you do during the festival?
  • You lock yourself in, or you go out and do some stuff?
  • Oh, I do some pretty bad stuff.
  • Oh, I bet you do, old timer. [ Laughs ]
  • Gee... Rick, come on. The sun is setting.
  • W-we got to get out of here.
  • All right, well, w-what do I owe you for the wiper fluid?
  • It’s on the house. Oh, and, uh, why... why don’t you have some candy bars, as well?
  • Oh, no way. That’s really nice of you.
  • I’m a nice guy... For now.
  • [ Chuckling ] Ohh, I don’t doubt it.
  • Rick!
  • Yeah, yeah.
  • Hey, have a good festival, old timer.
  • I intend to.
  • Rick, unlock it!
  • Just a second, Morty.
  • Oh, look at that sunset.
  • Stop screwing around.
  • [ Click ]
  • There we go. Much better. Now we can see.
  • Great.
  • Hey, you know what, Morty?
  • Why don’t we christen our squeaky-clean windshield here by watching a little of this purge through it?
  • What?! No! What is your problem?!
  • Morty, grow up. If you don’t want to watch, don’t watch, but, you know, it’s my car.
  • [ Belches ] Also, if you tell your mom about this, I’ll purge you.
  • You’re the worst.
  • And this planet is the worst. How can you be into this?
  • You know, people are gonna kill each other.
  • So, what, y-y-you trying to sit here and tell me that [belches] I-if... if there’s a video online with someone getting decapitated, you don’t click on it?
  • No!
  • Why... why would I do that?
  • You do that?
  • I don’t, because it would bore me.
  • I see [Bleep] like that for breakfast, Morty.
  • But if you don’t do it, I say it’s because you’re afraid of your own primal instincts.
  • So you stuff them down and...
  • [ Bell chiming ]
  • Oh, oh! Shh. Shh. It’s starting.
  • Oh-ho-ho! Here we go.
  • I’m not watching.
  • Yeah, yeah, yeah, your medal’s in the mail.
  • I’m gonna get a closer look.
  • Oh, okay, sure.
  • And then someone’s gonna throw a rock and hit the car and then we’re gonna crash and we’re gonna be stuck down there and it’s gonna be what we deserve.
  • Yawn.
  • Whoa! [ Indistinct shouting ]
  • Whoa, they are purging the [Bleep] out of each other.
  • [ Muffled screaming ]
  • Oh, my God!
  • Oh [Bleep]
  • That was... okay, yeah. T-that was gross.
  • Wow. Man, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach on this one, Morty. Ugh.
  • My appetite for purge-spectating got filled pretty quick.
  • Oh, God. [ Grunts ]
  • [ Retching ]
  • [ Woman screaming ]
  • Get away from me!
  • No! No! Help!
  • Somebody help me! Aah!
  • All right, Morty. L-let’s get out of here.
  • Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. W-we have to go down there.
  • [ Belching ] What? Why?
  • That poor girl. W-we have to save her.
  • Uh, Morty, in space, we have something we call the non-interference policy. We got the wiper fluid.
  • We watched them kill each other. We’re leaving.
  • Help me save that girl, or I’m telling mom you brought me here.
  • You little turd. [ Screaming ]
  • Please! Leave me alone!
  • Leave you alone? During a purge?
  • I don’t think so, baby.
  • It’s okay. We’re not gonna hurt you.
  • My name is Morty. This is my grandpa.
  • We’re tourists.
  • Not anymore.
  • Aah!
  • Aah!
  • Oh, my God. This is [Bleep] awesome!
  • Morty, this is really cool.
  • Hey, y-you want to help me out here and kill some people?
  • It’s fun. We’re totally justified because we’re saving a little girl.
  • I mean, w-w-we’re both free and clear to murder these people.
  • Are you okay?
  • Yes.
  • I have to find somewhere to hide.
  • Well, you can hide with us. Rick?
  • Yeah?
  • Do you think we could take... w-what’s your name?
  • Arthrisha.
  • Could we take arthrisha up in the ship and, you know, just wait out the purge?
  • Oh, Morty, how can I refuse after all you’ve done to blackmail me?
  • Your vehicle... is it from the gods?
  • No.
  • Yes.
  • So, uh, you know, when the purge started, did people get into it right away, or were they like, "wait, what?"
  • This is gonna stop crime how, exactly?"
  • Yeah, it took some time for people to accept it.
  • Yeah, I bet. [ Chuckles ] I bet.
  • Yeah, it’s kind of like cellphones, you know?
  • At first, everyone was like, "look at those douchebags purging," and then the next thing you know, they’re like, "it’s just so convenient."
  • Geez, you working on your tight five for the comedy store, Morty?
  • Whatcha doing?
  • Watching some TV, playing on your phone?
  • Is that a real question?
  • Just making conversation.
  • Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with?
  • My choice is to say nothing, be sarcastic, or bark "yes" like a trained animal.
  • It’s not a conversation.
  • You’re holding me verbally hostage.
  • Okay, ass-face. I’ll go in the kitchen.
  • Hey, dad.
  • Yeah?
  • Whatcha doing?
  • Going into the kitchen?
  • Okay.
  • Yeah, you like that?
  • Screw you.
  • So, uh, do most people wear masks when they purge?
  • I-I don’t want to answer any more purge questions.
  • All right, hey, hey, that’s cool.
  • I can roll with that.
  • [ Blowing raspberries ]
  • [ Gasps ] My Nana!
  • Huh?
  • My Nana! We have to save her!
  • You just now remembered your Nana exists.
  • I-I was traumatized.
  • Haven’t you been through like 15 purges?
  • I mean, some as a child?
  • Will somebody just help me get her?
  • Fine, whatever. Morty, stay.
  • Oh, God. Oh, crap. Oh, crap!
  • Get out! Get out!
  • Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
  • Get the [Bleep] out of the flying machine!
  • Oh, my God! O-okay! Okay!
  • Back up, asshole.
  • [ Whimpers ]
  • Back up.
  • Ohh.
  • Back the [Bleep] up!
  • Aah!
  • For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, but that’s not really worth anything tonight, is it?
  • Y-you can’t leave us here. You’re killing us!
  • You hear me? Come back.
  • Y-you got to come back. Change your mind.
  • Oh, geez.
  • Morty! Aah! [Bleep] Amish bitch shot me!
  • [ Grunts ] She tried to purge me, Morty.
  • You let your wiener do the walking, and now I’m dead.
  • Rick, she took the car!
  • You [Bleep] kidding me, Morty?!
  • She took my car and the gun.
  • We’re like the rest of these assholes now.
  • W-w-we’re gonna get purged, Morty.
  • Help me up.
  • Oh, geez, geez! Wait a minute, Rick.
  • Why don’t we just use your portal gun?
  • It’s in the car, dip-ass.
  • [ Grunts ] Oh, God, it hurts.
  • She got me right in the goddamn liver, Morty.
  • It’s the hardest-working liver in the galaxy, Morty, and now it has a hole in it. I hope it was worth it.
  • I was just trying to do right.
  • Yeah, well, that’s not really the theme of tonight’s party.
  • Heads up. Rapists.
  • Well, don’t just stand there, Morty.
  • Purge ‘em.
  • Me?
  • No, me. Should I rub my liver hole on them?
  • Pick up a stick or something and kill them.
  • Um, w-we come in peace.
  • [ Screaming ]
  • Oh, my God. [ Grunts ]
  • There’s more where that came from!
  • You want to get purged, you bring it!
  • Drop [Belches] drop your sh1t! Drop it all.
  • Morty, go get their sh1t. Hurry up.
  • I only had one of those things I threw.
  • I’m holding a box of tic tacs right now.
  • Want some crackers?
  • No, thank you.
  • Are you ready to be nice to me?
  • In exchange for crackers?
  • What happened to you?
  • Dad, get a job.
  • You’re trying to create drama because you’re bored.
  • Oh. [ Beeping, whirring ]
  • It’s the space phone grandpa gave us.
  • Hello?
  • Hey, Summer, it’s grandpa.
  • I need you to do me a favor.
  • I can barely hear you.
  • Who is it?
  • Morty and I are on a planet that’s purging.
  • I need you to take down...
  • A plan that’s what?
  • We’re on a planet that’s purging, Summer. Purging.
  • We lost our car and my gun, and we’re in a purge.
  • Ooh, is it taddi Mason?
  • Like the movie "the purge"?
  • Yes, I-I need you to take... that movie sucked.
  • Oh, my God. Hold on.
  • It’s not taddi Mason?
  • Dad, who the [Bleep] is taddi Mason?
  • My friend.
  • Aah!
  • Are you okay? I’m putting you on speaker.
  • Taddi?
  • Yes, Jerry, it’s taddi, a person no one’s ever heard of until now, calling you on a space phone.
  • I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.
  • [ Growls ]
  • Aah!
  • [ Growling ]
  • [ Gunshots ]
  • Reload, fast.
  • Summer, w-we need you to take down this number.
  • Quit screwing around.
  • Morty? Are you all right?
  • No!
  • Why are you with taddi Mason?
  • Holy [Bleep] dad! Shut the [Bleep] up!
  • Okay. I guess I’m just this entire family’s toilet paper.
  • Are you writing this down? Will you please write this down?
  • Summer: Yes, yes.
  • 7-7-1-9-8...
  • [ Growling ]
  • 3-6-4-2-1-1-2-5.
  • Aah!
  • [ Growling ]
  • You son of a bitch!
  • Morty, I don’t want to be the "a little help" guy, but a little help?
  • Aah!
  • Okay, I have a pen. Go.
  • 7-7-1-9-8-3- 6-4-2-1-1-2-5.
  • A spoon, Morty?
  • A spoon?!
  • I’m sorry.
  • There’s a pile of silverware next to you, and you throw me the one thing that can never kill anything?
  • All right, okay!
  • Summer, on the shelf above my workbench in the garage, there’s a red box with a keypad on it.
  • You’re gonna take that box outside, and you’re gonna type the number I just gave you into the keypad.
  • Got it?
  • Got it.
  • Is it just part of growing up to hate your dad?
  • I’m ignoring you.
  • Morty, if I can get to the top of that lighthouse, I can send the beacon, and your sister can launch our package.
  • Just remember, if there’s people in there and they try to purge us, we got to purge them first.
  • We’re not purging anyone, Rick, all right? W-will you stop it?
  • Morty, if we’re gonna survive tonight, you’re gonna need to harness your repressed rage.
  • I don’t have any!
  • Spoken like a person with repressed rage.
  • [ Doorbell rings ]
  • I take no part in the festival.
  • If you desire to kill me, I only ask you do it quickly.
  • No such agenda, chief.
  • We’re not too keen on the purge, either, sir.
  • We were just hoping to get on the roof of your lighthouse so we can send a beacon to my sister on earth.
  • It’s a different planet.
  • By the way, life on other planets exists. Don’t let it distract you.
  • I’ll let you use my lighthouse for shelter and beacon-sending on the condition that you listen to my tale.
  • Okay.
  • Deal.
  • All right, I’m gonna go to the roof and set things up.
  • Morty, you listen to his tale.
  • Okay.
  • [ Clears throat ]
  • "Fade in. Exterior. Unnamed city. Day."
  • The hustle and bustle is a symphony of progress.
  • We pan past windows, each of which contain a different story, to find jacey lakims, 28... hot, but doesn’t know it.
  • Jacey stops when her high heel gets caught in the grating of a sewer.
  • Suddenly, a man steps into frame and points a gun at her.
  • This is not her day.
  • Fade to black.
  • "Title... ‘three weeks earlier.’"
  • [ sighs ] You really don’t want to talk to me about this.
  • Dad, grandpa and Morty are in danger.
  • You’re unemployed, and you’re bored.
  • They’re a higher priority.
  • Stop saying I’m unemployed!
  • Okay, 7-7-1-9-8-3-6-4-2-1-1
  • 2... aah!
  • Good lord! Now what?
  • [ Whirring, humming ]
  • Look, I’m your father, and I love you is all I’m saying.
  • I’ll leave it at that.
  • Fine, dad!
  • [ Both scream ]
  • Oh, he might have said to take it outside.
  • Rick: Come on, Summer.
  • How hard is it to type some numbers into a box?
  • Target locked. [ Device beeps ]
  • Oh, thank God.
  • Well, I did my job. Summer did her job.
  • Now all Morty has to do is finish listening to that tale.
  • "Blane: Maybe I don’t need a new friend."
  • Jacey: Maybe you’re the only friend I need.
  • Blane: Need, or want?
  • Jacey: I’ve never been much for wanting.
  • "Blane: Spoken like someone with needs."
  • Oh, geez.
  • Hmm?
  • Uh, sorry. K-keep going.
  • "Jacey reaches out and touches his face."
  • It’s clear he needs what she wants.
  • She’s a woman. He’s a man.
  • The city burns in the background as he takes her in his arms.
  • Fade out.
  • Title... ‘the end’...
  • "Question mark."
  • Wow.
  • Yeah?
  • It’s... G-good job. Good job.
  • You liked it?
  • Of course I did.
  • You didn’t laugh at the scene in the bar.
  • I...Thought it was funny, but I wanted to hear the rest.
  • Do you have any thoughts? Notes?
  • No. I-I just enjoyed it.
  • That’s my note, you know? Please write more.
  • Seems a little insincere.
  • What? No.
  • You don’t have to mollycoddle me.
  • I want to improve my writing. Tell me your real thoughts.
  • All right. Well, um, I’m not a huge fan, personally, of the whole "three weeks earlier" teaser thing.
  • I feel like, you know, we should start our stories where they begin not start them where they get interest... get out.
  • Um, what?
  • No, I’m sick of this. You bang on my door, you beg me to help you, I share something personal with you, and you take a giant sh1t on it.
  • Hey, man, we asked if we could put up a beacon... well, you can’t. I want you out of here.
  • You’re a petty person, and you’re insecure, and you’re taking it out on me. That’s a good script.
  • What the hell?!
  • I don’t care. I want you out.
  • What?
  • Take that thing down.
  • Your grandson is a shitty person. Leave now.
  • Morty!
  • Rick, I didn’t do anything.
  • I sat through his entire screenplay... you "sat through it"?
  • Yes! Did you want me to weep with joy?
  • It’s terrible!
  • Whoa! Morty! We’re guests here.
  • I tried to be a good guest! He dragged it out of me!
  • I’m taking down this beacon.
  • No, stop! That’s not fair!
  • Just because you hate your own writing doesn’t make me a bad person!
  • Aah!
  • You like that? You want me to cut to three weeks earlier when you were alive?
  • Whoa, Morty. You just purged.
  • Beacon arriving. [ Device beeps ]
  • Okay, time to go.
  • Well, terrific.
  • [ Sighs ]
  • Dad, what’s going on? What’s the deal here?
  • I just wanted to spend some time with my daughter.
  • You’re growing up so fast.
  • You used to be my little girl.
  • [ Chuckles ] Yeah.
  • Remember when we used to go to the playground, and I’d push you on the swings?
  • Oh, you could push me higher than all the other kids.
  • You were so small and cute.
  • I thought you were gonna fly right off into the street.
  • [ Chuckling ] I used to pee my pants.
  • I know, and now look at you!
  • You have a job. You’re making really good money.
  • You’re not paying any rent, so you have plenty of disposable income.
  • Oh, God, dad. Please, don’t.
  • I just need a few hundred dollars to get through the month. I have some interviews coming up.
  • Something’s gonna come through. I can feel it.
  • I’m going inside.
  • [ Door shuts ]
  • [ Sighs ] I guess this is what rock bottom feels like, Jerry.
  • Ow!
  • It’s okay, Morty. It’s the purge, you know?
  • Pushing old lighthouse keepers down the stairs is totally cool.
  • It’s not cool, Rick. I-I’m not like these people.
  • I can’t run around chopping people’s heads off one day a year and then sleep well the rest of the time.
  • Well, you better start getting used to it, little bitch, because we got some [Bleep] company.
  • Hey, there he is.
  • Here I am.
  • [ Beacon whirring ]
  • Morty.
  • Time to [Belches] purge.
  • [ Gunfire, screaming ]
  • [ Tony! Toni! Toné!’S "feels good" plays ]
  • [ Screaming ] ♪ it feels good ♪
  • ♪ yeah ♪
  • ♪ it feels good ♪

♪ holdin’ you so ♪ ♪ it feels good geez. ♪

  • Wow, Morty. Now you’re getting into it.
  • Never expected that out of you.
  • All right, uh, let’s go find my ship.
  • Hey, hey, Morty, Morty. There it is down there... my ship.
  • It looks to me like the... Morty? [ Gunfire ]
  • Suck my [Bleep] ♪ it feels good eat this! ♪
  • Ooh, boy, you’re really, uh...
  • Ha-ha! Ha! ♪ It feels good you’re really going for it over there, huh?
  • I, uh [Belches] I think, uh [Belches]
  • I think those people were just hiding.
  • I don’t give a [Bleep]
  • [ Gunfire ]
  • Okay, Morty, now you’re just shooting corpses.
  • How do you like this?
  • Okay, buddy.
  • All right. That’s good. Good job.
  • [ Screams ]
  • Time to go home.
  • [ Weapon charging ]
  • Wait, stop! Please, don’t kill me!
  • I-I never intended to harm you, I swear.
  • I am trying to end the festival.
  • W-w-what do you mean?
  • I was going to use your ship to destroy the rich assholes that run our society and save my people from the horrors of this yearly festival.
  • [Bleep] That, Rick! We got to kill her! Kill her! Kill her!
  • Whoa! Geez, Morty, purge it down a little.
  • "Purge! Don’t purge!"
  • You’re sending me mixed messages, Rick.
  • Morty [Belches] you’re acting like a [Belches] freaking lunatic.
  • Calm down.
  • Screw you, Rick!
  • I’ll purge you, too, you old, rickety piece of crap!
  • This has been a long time coming!
  • I’m gonna rip your [Bleep] guts out and smear them all over your face!
  • I ain’t taking no sh... aah!
  • Okay, s-sorry about that.
  • Now, where are these rich people?
  • [ String quartet playing ]
  • [ Glass clinking ]
  • To another successful year of the festival, pitting poor people against each other for thousands of years.
  • [ Tony! Toni! Toné!’S "feels good" plays ]
  • Wait, w-where is that music coming from?
  • What is the meaning of this?
  • ♪ It feels good here’s the deal. ♪
  • I’m not here to judge.
  • I’m just a guy from another planet.
  • But this girl is one of your poor people, and I guess you guys felt like it was okay to subject her to inhuman conditions because there was no chance of it ever hurting you.
  • It’s sort of the socio-political equivalent of, say, a suit of power armor around you.
  • But now things are evened out, so, arthrisha?
  • [ All gasp ]
  • Happy festival [Bleep] suckers!
  • Suck my [Bleep] chew my balls!
  • Suck my huge [Bleep]
  • Geez. ♪ It feels good ♪
  • You want to get in on this, Rick?
  • No, I really... honestly, I-I’ve had my fill.
  • It’s gratuitous at this point.
  • You sure you don’t want to join in?
  • This is really amazing.
  • ♪ It feels good yeah, but... ah, all right. [Bleep] It. ♪
  • ♪ It feels good yeah, bitch, what’s up? ♪
  • ♪ It feels good ♪

♪ it feels good ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ it feels good whoa! ♪ ♪ Ohh, it feels good ♪

  • Okay, now it’s time we do a little dancing to... to Tony! Toni! Toné!
  • ♪ It feels good, yeah look at my [Bleep] feet, mother [Bleep] ♪
  • Whoo! Aw, yeah!
  • ♪ It feels good ♪
  • Arthrisha, what do you got?
  • Check this move out.
  • ♪ Oh, it feels good ♪
  • [ belches ] Oh, ho!
  • I don’t know what song that is, but I [Bleep] love it!
  • "Feels good."
  • It’s a [Bleep] hit song.
  • ♪ It feels good ♪ topped the charts, I think.
  • Ho, ho!
  • ♪ Oh, it feels good ♪
  • [ rooster crows ]
  • Hey, thanks for helping me, Rick.
  • You’re a pretty great guy.
  • Yeah, yeah, yeah. [Bleep] You for shooting my liver.
  • I’ll see you around.
  • Oh, man. What... what happened?
  • Don’t worry about it, Morty.
  • Listen, if you wanted to try to get a piece, you better hurry up. Now’s your last chance.
  • Hey, hey, arthrisha, um, maybe I could... uh, I have a boyfriend.
  • Okay.
  • I’m not trying to be rude.
  • I just... I don’t want to lead you on.
  • I-I-I understand.
  • I mean, thank you so much for helping end the festival, but I have a boyfriend, and, uh, he’s just... okay, okay, you can stop saying it.
  • I took it okay the first time, and now you’re just repeating stuff.
  • Oh, I’m sorry.
  • It’s okay.
  • Oh, you’re so sweet, I just... oh, but I can’t.
  • Yeah, you’re still doing it.
  • It won’t be easy creating a new society from the ground up.
  • Well, a helpful rule might be if you need something, you get it.
  • Pretty simple, right?
  • I need food.
  • Who’s got food for that guy?
  • I do, but this is for me.
  • Can’t you make some more?
  • Oh, sure. And while I’m making food for everyone, who takes care of my kids?
  • I’ll take care of your kids, if I get some extra food for it.
  • Extra food?
  • Well, I’m not gonna do extra work if we all get the same.
  • All right, okay, fair is fair.
  • If you do extra work, you get extra food.
  • Oh. [ All murmuring ]
  • Who’s gonna keep track of who gets how much food for how much work?
  • Hello. I can do that.
  • I’ll keep track of everyone’s food, you know, in exchange for food.
  • That’s not a real job!
  • Oh, and making food is?
  • You son of a bitch!
  • Eat this!
  • [ All screaming ]
  • Guys, guys, guys, guys, whoa, whoa.
  • Cool it, now. Take it easy.
  • There’s too much aggression here.
  • What if we designate a period of time during which we can all get this hate, murder, and rage out of our system...
  • I can’t help but feel ashamed about what I did back there, Rick.
  • I guess you were right. I’ve got a lot of repressed stuff.
  • I need to deal with.
  • Don’t worry about it, Morty.
  • Remember those candy bars earlier that we got in the first act?
  • Yeah, what about them?
  • Turns out they have a chemical in them called purgenol that amplifies all your violent tendencies.
  • Oh, boy. Whew! Thank goodness for that, huh?
  • That’s a relief.
  • Yep. Don’t even sweat.
  • You’re still the same old Morty.
  • Your character’s totally protected.
  • ♪ It feels good ♪
  • Man: And there’s the approach.
  • Jerry, what is "Taddi Mason LLC," and why is our phone bill $700?
  • Uh... Hey, are you bored...
  • Uh... ...Lonely, just looking for a friend?
  • Uh... Call me, taddi Mason.
  • It’s only $1.99 a minute to talk.
  • Uh... Sign up today, and I’ll even call you on a regular basis...
  • Uh... For just $1.99 a minute.
  • That’s a steal because I’m a great pal.
  • Uh... We could talk about sports or barbecue.
  • [ Grunts ]
  • Jerry, get a job.

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Seasons
Season 1 PilotLawnmower DogAnatomy ParkM. Night Shaym-Aliens!Meeseeks and DestroyRick Potion #9Raising GazorpazorpRixty MinutesSomething Ricked This Way ComesClose Rick-Counters of the Rick KindRicksy Business
Season 2 A Rickle in TimeMortynight RunAuto Erotic AssimilationTotal RickallGet SchwiftyThe Ricks Must Be CrazyBig Trouble In Little SanchezInterdimensional Cable 2: Tempting FateLook Who's Purging NowThe Wedding Squanchers
Season 3 The Rickshank RickdemptionRickmancing the StonePickle RickVindicators 3: The Return of WorldenderThe Whirly Dirly ConspiracyRest and RicklaxationTales From the CitadelMorty's Mind BlowersThe ABC's of BethThe Rickchurian Mortydate