PM-icon-101 This is a transcribed copy for the episode "The Real Animated Adventures of Doc and Mharti." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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Mharti: Aw kites in the tree, Doc! I can't....I hate this stupid tree! I'm so sad...

Doc: Don't be sad Mharti! We'll go back in time! And we'll make sure that your kite doesn't get caught in the tree!

Mharti: Alright Doc, that sounds great! I'm gonna go get my boots!

[title and theme]

Mharti: Alright Doc, I'm back! I got my boots! I'm excited! Let's go, let's get out of here!

Doc: Mharti, Mharti we have a problem! The time travel car won't start!

Mharti: Oh no! What can we do? What are we gonna do...?

Doc: My chapped, bloody testicles Mharti!

Mharti: What?!

Doc: I need you to lick them!

Mharti: Oh my god...what?! What?! You want me to lick 'em?!

Doc: Yes Mharti! It's the only way to fix my time travel car! You have to lick my balls, Mharti! The saliva needs to be warm and fresh! And it must be administered by your tongue, Mharti!

Mharti: But I don't understand how that would work, Doc; I-I don't, I don't, I'm confused. I don't-

Doc: Mharti, trust me! I built this car with my own two hands, from the ground, up! Hurry!

Mharti: Okay Doc, you've convinced me... here goes nothing... [slurping sounds]

Doc: That's it Mharti! Slather your wet tongue all over my balls! Don't miss a spot! It's working Mharti! It's working!

[transition card; one hour later...]

Doc: Okay Mharti, here we are. In your front lawn thirty years ago. The very same day that that tree was planted!

Mharti: Oh Doc, who do you think planted it? How are we gonna stop him?

Doc: It doesn't matter who planted the tree, Mharti. The only way to stop them, is by having you lick my balls!

Mharti: Again?!

Doc: That's right, Mharti! [belching] W-We're in the year 1955, now! What do you think goes on here, Mharti? You think i-i-if you saw some guy lickin' some balls, you'd just walk by happily? I don't think so Mharti! That ain't how it works here, Mharti! If this man comin' to plant trees in your yard sees you suckin' on my balls, somethin' [more belching] s-scientific and magic will happen to him! Trust me Mharti! Somethin' real magic and scientific!

Mharti: But Doc...I thought lickin' your balls fixes the time car...

Doc: There isn't time to argue, Mharti! He's coming right now! Get down on your knees, and stick your tongue on my balls! It's the only way! I'm a doctor, Mharti! [belching] Trust me, Mharti!

Mharti: Alright Doc...say no more. I'm goin' down to your balls right now...[more slurping sounds]

1950'S MAN: Ouch...

Doc: It's working, Mharti!

1950'S MAN: [screaming in pain] I'm disappearing! It hurts! Jesus Christ! It burns!

Doc: Good job, Mharti!

Mharti: Doc, we killed him!

Doc: Now why don't we go back and fly your kite, Mharti? It'll be fun, Mharti!

[transition card, later that day...]

Mharti: [laughing] Oh, oh Doc this is the most fun! 'Cause now that there's no tree, I can fly the kite all in the yard...

Doc: Yes Mharti, ha! Ahaha! It's fun Mharti, hahahahar! Arr matey!

Mharti: But still...I sometimes often wonder...who that 1950's man was. We killed him, remember? I wonder who he was.

Doc: Oh my god, Mharti! You're disappearing!

Mharti: Oh god Doc, why?! What-What's goin' on?! Y-You gotta help me Doc! I'm fading away! I'm hurts!

Doc: That 1950's man, Mharti! He must have been your great, great, great, great, great, Grandfather!

Mharti: Hurry Doc! What can we do?! You gotta fix me!

Doc: I don't know what to do, Mharti!

Mharti: Wait Doc, I've got an idea! Y-Your balls! Let me lick on your balls, Doc!

Doc: By jove, you're right Mharti! Hurry! Suck on my balls!

Mharti: [even more slurping sounds]

Doc: This time is a little different, Mharti! You have to jerk me off while you do it! Jerk me off, hurry! It's for your life, Mharti! Jerk me off!

Mharti: O-Oh...please...please work...

Doc: It's working Mharti! It's working!

Mharti: You did it, Doc! You really- you saved my life!

Doc: No Mharti, we saved your life. We saved your life.

[next time on doc and mharti]

Doc: What is it Mharti? What's the matter?

Mharti: Oh Doc, I'm in big trouble! I wasted the whole summer flying my kite in the front yard, when I should have been studying for this huge test I got!

Doc: When is the test, Mharti?

Mharti: Aw Doc, it's tomorrow. I don't stand a chance!

Doc: Lick my balls, Mharti. Lick my fucking balls.

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